Posts Tagged life

Are We There Yet?

From time to time I get lost in my mind
When thoughts let go of now and turn to meaning:
A peek above the hedge to seek and find
A bigger picture of life's path so fleeting.
At times my passions mapped a path quite bold
Across the landscape seen by eyes so young,
But more and more now that I have grown older
My visions of horizons come undone.
For forty years my future was so certain;
The path would blur but the compass point stayed clear.
But now all roads are hidden by rain curtains,
And far as I can tell my goal's no nearer
Than when I first set out so long ago.
Are roads and maps and trips an empty show?

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The List

How am I doing?


  • The IRS still hasn’t finished processing New Way’s 501(c)3 application, so we don’t yet have our non-profit bulk mail permit, so our advertising costs for our launch campaign are going to be higher than planned.
  • I think I may be coming down with something between a cold and a flu.
  • Since adding a puppy to our household, I have had less sleep every night.
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • I still miss my father.
  • I am still processing all sorts of confusing thoughts and feelings about life and death.
  • I am far away from my siblings and my mother.
  • I am not as good a husband or father as I would like to be.
  • I am easily distracted.
  • I am heavier than I want to be.
  • I am becoming increasingly aware of my own mortality.
  • I keep fighting the same spiritual battles over and over.
  • I am connected with an organization that is experiencing simultaneous financial, cultural, and structural crises.
  • I regularly struggle to understand the big questions, let alone their answers.
  • I treat my dark side like a pet.
  • I’m tired.

But on the other hand…

  • I have an amazingly solid marriage to a wonderful person.
  • Every one of my kids is a healthy, intelligent, loving, happy person.
  • I live in a good house in a nice neighborhood in a fun city in a privileged nation in an amazing time in a beautiful world.
  • I am living out a life’s dream, and not for the first time.
  • I am in constant dialogue with amazing people all around me.
  • Our puppy is really, really cute. And sweet. And (for a puppy) quite easygoing.
  • I don’t need to worry about personal finances.
  • I love and am loved by many people.
  • I can play music any time I like.
  • I live near The Salt Lick, Torchy’s Tacos, and a hundred good coffee shops.
  • I’ve been making good progress on New Way’s website.
  • I’m excited by what seems to me to be a new wave swelling far off shore in the broad spiritual movement that is the New Church.
  • I like what I do.
  • I have a pool.
  • I am rarely too cold anymore.
  • I had a great family Christmas.
  • I mostly can make my own hours.
  • I am regularly amazed, enlightened and moved by what I learn from God’s Word.

So, all in all, I guess…what?

I guess life doesn’t work that way. It’s not a balance sheet, or a see-saw, or a list. So what is it? Well, mostly it’s a “now” that’s heavily complicated by a no-longer existant past and a never quite here future.

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Too Much

Mac Frazier has too much going on in his life to fit into a Twitter or Facebook status update.


Obla dee, obla da

Obla dee, obla da, here I go again…